MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hahaa, I've been saying that shit all day. Why? Because it's Christmas eve! My oh my, what a long day I've had. Well, quick update: I have a job, yo. I got a job at AMC theatres right by my house. Isn't that fucking crazy? I know I always talked about getting a job, but shit, I never actually really imagined having one. I guess working is okay. Actually, working is gay and I could see why so many people commit suicide every year. It's cause they're stuck working at some job they hate, and they have to do it every day, sleep eat repeat. Now I'm not saying my job is that horrible, I actually LIKE it, but I'm saying that if I were to work at something I'm not totally passionate about, my life WOULD suck. But my job I'm young, my job is pretty cool, and I don't mind it. It's just crazy to think that a job is just responsibility, and anyone who knows me knows that responsibility isn't really my strong point. But I think I do well regardless.
Um, anyway, before I went on that rant about jobs, what I actually wanted to say was that I worked today. And that's why I've had such a long day.

Okay, moving on, so right now it's just my dad, Nancy, and me at home. My brother and my mother are in Mexico, this is the longest I've been away from my mom. I guess it's whatever.

Continuing on the obvious point of today, this year it doesn't really feel like Christmas. But I think that's just me. I'm just not feeling it. I'm not in some Christmas Grinch mood or anything like that, I guess I just don't feel that christmas-y. But I did give a homeless guy two bucks on my way home from work today, so fuck it, that must count for something.

And about Fernando, to be completely honest, I can say he's the reason I'm having a blue Christmas, the reason I'm not quite content. I'm also tired of talking about, of even thinking about it, and it's near impossible for me to shed ONE more tear about it. I've done enough thinking, enough crying, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. I'm on a one-sided debate, and let's face it, I can't win. So I admit it fucking sucks, and I'm probably going to mope until the end of this year, but talk about it? I can't do it much longer. Oh if he only knew how often I thought about him, how much I still care about him, but like I said, I'm just a one-sided debate without reason.

I'm out of shit to say, and I'll just end this on a high note:
Have a very merry (blue) Christmas.